positive Archives - Dennis E. Gilbert

24
Aug 21
-

Positive Language is a Different Story

Tags : language motivation outcomes positive self-talk

Are you choosing positive language? If so, has it made a difference? Have you had to change your language to change your outcomes? Did that work?

When you don’t know what else to say, what do you bring up?

Of course, the answer is easy. You bring up the weather.

I’m sick of this rain.

It’s too hot, too humid, and I can’t stand it.

It’s so cold, I can’t wait until spring.

These might all be stories. Perhaps they aren’t made up and perhaps they are only moderately dramatized.

Either way, it is something that you’re telling yourself and probably others.

The language affects mindset and mindset affects what happens next.

Talk at Work

What happens at work?

There is pressure to perform. Pressure from the boss, your colleagues, and perhaps the customer.

Often the concept is, do more, be more efficient, and never ever sacrifice quality.

There are two choices.

The first is, you can tell yourself a story that will signal some relief.

I need to finish this project and get it out of the way.

If I give this to the boss at the end of day, I won’t have to make more changes until tomorrow.

If the customer doesn’t use this feature, they won’t notice.

The other choice is to hunker down. Be resilient, committed, and give yourself feedback (self-talk) that applies more commitment to the future outcomes.

I’m not rushing through this project, it’s too important.

My best work happens when I look at my work with fresh eyes, I’m going to re-read this in the morning before giving it to the boss.

Getting this last feature just right makes it more valuable even though not every customer requires it.

The difference is in the story you tell yourself.

Is your language positive?

Positive Language

What you look for is what you get. The story that you are telling yourself right now is that story that you’ll seek to see unfold.

When there is pressure to perform you can find your way through or grind your way through. Either might work to energize you.

One way may relieve stress, the other may create it. One way or the other, you’ll find the way to get to the next step.

Anger or embarrassment springs one person into action. For others it is an energy zapping confidence reducer.

You see the story in the way you choose to believe, or for the outcome that you want to create.

Using language that connects you with the desired (positive) outcome is good, but it always depends on how the story is told.

Even when you’re telling it to yourself.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

04
Feb 21
-

Negative Fantasies May Be What’s Stopping You

Tags : failure feeling stuck mindset negative fantasies positive

Have you ever slowed, stalled, or stopped because of negative fantasies? It happens to many people and it may be happening to you.

A negative fantasy is the idea that you are imagining the worst possible outcome. Instead of fantasizing about something positive or joyful, you’re imagining what happens next will be something terrible.

Perhaps you have an important meeting this week. Your schedule is tight but you’ve made room and this is your one shot. You may fantasize that your car won’t start, traffic will make you late, or the outcome of the meeting will be the worst possible scenario instead of the best.

You may have negative fantasies about an upcoming dental check-up, a doctor’s visit, or why your boss has summoned you to her office.

Sometimes it happens before a big presentation. The slide deck might crash, you’ll trip over your words, forget what you were supposed to say, or the audience won’t get your silly joke.

It could everything from an image of a rainstorm during your outdoor party to the image that eating one cookie is going to make you obese.

Negative Fantasies

Negative fantasies may be a valuable marker that helps those who procrastinate or take situations for granted. It may help reel them in, keep them grounded, and perhaps most of all, keep them humble.

Too much fantasizing though, and it may derail performance. It may cause unnecessary worry and anxiety. In severe cases, it may cause people to hold back, stop trying, or never take any risk at all.

Risk is a fact of life. Taking little or no risk will hold you back.

Do you feel stuck or stalled? Is time flying by and when you look back, you’re fearful you haven’t done enough or accomplished enough?

Do you ask yourself why?

Your personal forecast of your future may be exactly what is slowing you down.

A positive fantasy seems much more valuable and realistic.

Try it.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

14
Jan 21
-

Problem Solution Is a Choice You Make

Tags : conflict contributor positive workplace culture

Are you searching for the problem solution or are you a contributor? When it comes to human interaction in the workplace you have a choice.

While conflict is a normal part of people working together it is how you manage conflict that has the most impact.

Everyone entering the workplace, every day has a set of values and beliefs. They have aspects of their workday that serve to energize or else derail performance. Everything from personal drama to what you are wearing could spark negative emotions.

Largely it all circles back to workplace culture. Culture starts with leadership. It is especially present in communication and the established values and beliefs.

Culture is not really about the furniture and fixtures. It is not about the lighting or the color of the walls. These are more part of the environment than they are culture.

What is the nature of addressing differences in your workplace? What role do you play?

Problem Solution

It may sometimes feel like someone is out to take away your energy. You feel singled out, profiled, and placed in a frame. Your values and beliefs are disregarded, placed in a box, and shelved.

The most important thing to remember is why you are there. Everyone has job responsibilities and it is best to stay focused on the expectations of your role.

Unless you are employed in a political job, or in a news media organization, your job is probably not about politics. Similar comparisons are true for religion or even family values and traditions.

Each person’s day is filled with moments. The day is also filled with decisions. When the tension is high and it feels like someone is attempting to sabotage your experience you have a choice.

Your attitude towards what happens next starts with a decision. Will you further ignite the problem or are you interested in being part of the solution?

Having a goal of being a part of the solution starts with a focus on creating and exploring possibilities. When you are working towards making things better there is much less room for making things worse.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

13
Mar 19
2

How Long Does Job Appreciation Last?

Tags : appreciation focus job positive

Is appreciation important? At your workplace is job appreciation plentiful?

As with most things in life, job appreciation may be the result of our efforts.

When was the last time you heard, “Thank you, nice work!”?

This is a question I often ask in leadership or cultural development seminars. Reactions vary, but largely it stumps the group. They can’t seem to quickly remember when they’ve heard it, or said it. Some will scoff and shout, “Never!”

Good Focus

We have good days and bad days. When was the last time you said, “Thank you, you just made my day!”?

The best workplace cultures have the determination to place value on appreciation. Not to the extent that praise is overcooked and it becomes a mild form of sarcasm. It must however, have significant emphasis and focus.

We seem to remember vividly the last time someone hurt our feelings, harshly criticized our work, or when we somehow missed the big opportunity.

As a natural human reaction to avoid hurt and pain, our brains try to learn. Yet to learn, we analyze and replay those memories much more than our successes. Some would suggest we are hard-wired this way. It is our evolution, it is in our genes.

Job Appreciation

Should we make job appreciation last longer? Should we try to consciously use our energy to remember the good, relive the success, and focus vividly on accomplishments? Is giving encouragement and praise a cultural value?

The answer seems clear and easy.

In order to do this though, it requires effort and strength. It requires us to put emphasis on the positive. We need to use our energy wisely, share success, and congratulate others.

It is easy to state that you are trying to be positive. Much more difficult is putting it into motion.

In the workplace, it may start by seeing the value that everyone brings to the table. It may start by saying, “Thank you, nice work!”

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

05
Mar 19
4

At Work, Affirmations Lead The Way

Tags : affirmations belief positive repetitive

Are you committed to being more positive at work? How you approach your job each day may have something to do with what you constantly tell yourself. Are you using affirmations? Are they positive or negative?

Most rational people don’t go to the gym one time, pick up some weights, move them around, come home and look in the mirror only to be disappointed that they haven’t transformed.

The same could be said about one day of eating correctly, one day of taking the stairs, or just one day of professional study.

One day of any of those activities won’t create a big change. Do you agree?

What Are You Saying?

Our outlook, what we say to ourselves repetitively across time will shape our outcomes.

“This meeting is going to be long and boring.”

“This job is terrible. I hate my job.”

“My boss hates me and is never satisfied with my work.”

These affirmations, delivered to ourselves repetitively across time will almost guarantee that you will bring them to life. Yet, positivity seekers will insist that they are trying to be positive.

Saying to yourself, “I am trying to be positive.” will often end with, “but, I can’t be positive because…”.

Skip the “trying to be” and the “but,” and put your fate in motion.

Positive Affirmations

There is certainly the possibility that your next meeting may go into overtime. You may also not be in your dream job or your boss may find issues with your work. However, if you really want to make a difference, you’re going to have to affirm it.

At the end of the day discover what went well. Create a win list. Celebrate small victories. Find a reason why the meeting is valuable. Convince yourself you’ll get it right for the boss.

Use only positive affirmations. Tell yourself about it. Be deliberately repetitive.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

01
Nov 18
2

The Big Frustration of Wasted Energy

Tags : energy focus negativity positive wasted

Do you need your go juice in the morning? Bottomless pots of coffee, maybe an energy drink or two? Have you ever thought about wasted energy? The things you do that don’t provide value?

What’s Your Fix?

I’m a coffee drinker. I know it is a sin, but often it is decaf.

Someone once said to me, “Why do you drink decaf? That doesn’t make any sense.”

There are probably several reasons. The best reason is because I like the taste of coffee. No sugar, no cream, nothing added, just coffee.

Certainly, I’ve had a few energy drinks in my day. I’ve drank bottomless pots of caffeinated coffee. Chocolate, soda, and other energy products.

The question really is, do we need more energy or do we need to stop wasting energy? Perhaps it is some of both.

Daily Routine

Everyday people make their move to work. They have a routine, a commute, stops they make and things they do to pass the time. How is that energy spent?

Once on the job, or in the surroundings of other people, there is often chatter, discussions, and usually some gripes and complaints.

Are you wasting energy on non-productive things?

While this may not be you – be sure you self-assess – many people waste gobs of energy reliving the negativity of the past. What this creates is negativity of the future.

Wasted Energy

In very limited measures there may be some relief in getting something off your chest. When most of what you talk about is doom and gloom, you’re going to experience doom and gloom.

Worry, anxiety, and anger, they are not positive energy. When you talk about it, relive it, and tell others, there really isn’t anything positive about that.

Everyone probably has something to worry about and at low or moderate levels worry can help us navigate life and even grow better. Anxiety or feeling anxious can sometimes be twisted and redirected. Even moderate levels of anger can be redirected for a positive outcome.

On the other hand, all this negative energy can eat us alive. It makes people depressed, inappropriately anxious, and in extreme circumstances causes other health problems.

It is your energy. How will you use it?

What does your day look like?

-DEG

Originally posted on November 1, 2018, last updated on November 5, 2019.

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

25
Oct 18
-

The Art of Developing Positive Energy

Tags : career energy mindset positive win list

Bad days happen. Tough times happen. Many have heard the aphorism, “Tough times don’t last, tough people do.” How are you using your energy? Are you continuously developing positive energy?

If you want positive energy why are your behaviors contradictory?

While this may feel like a provocative question. One that you quickly find disagreement with, it just may be one of the best questions you get today.

Many people, even people who claim positivity are often repeating, reliving, and existing in a mental environment that supports negativity. Sure, we want to help and support friends and family, but what about our own mindset?

Beating Yourself Up

Do you surround yourself in negativity when you make a mistake? After a bad decision, a wrong choice, or even a slip of the tongue you start to blame, often blaming yourself.

You may say things about yourself. Bad things, things that you certainly wouldn’t accept others saying about you. You point to faults, express hurtful criticism, and even chronically second, third, and fourth guess your actions or behaviors.

The is negativity at its finest. Ironically, it is self-inflicted.

Doing Your Best

Your best work won’t happen in this environment. Your best health won’t happen either.

This negativity takes away part of you. It causes you to freeze, not move, not take action, or just sit in silence. The pressure to improve is overcome by the intense feeling of failure.

No good work is going to happen here. This is not developing positive energy. Why allow this distraction when there is still so much you can do?

Developing Positive Energy

Although it doesn’t always feel this way, there is more positive happening as compared to negative.

Often the feeling of doom develops from comparisons. The view that someone else has it better. Someone else earns more, has an easier life, and never has to worry or feel down.

In modern times this feeling is even more compelling with social networks posting only the best photos, vacations, job changes, money makers, and lifestyles. Be very careful about what you believe.

Do you want more positive energy? Stop beating yourself up, focus more on the positive energies, talk about and relive the things that are good and going well.

One way to do this is by understanding the why and the how of a win list. Try it.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

20
Apr 18
-

Negative Bias, Is It Limiting You?

Tags : confirmation bias limits negative negative bias positive

Positive versus negative, we hear about it all the time. People flock to social media for positive vibes, or spend time posting about their negative experiences. It is not just on social media. It is at your water cooler meeting, in your phone calls, and what you share with your friends and family. Is negative bias limiting you?

I have certainly done it. Proclaim that I am being positive but what I’m really sharing is negative. In fact, so much so, that I insist I’m not being negative. Often, from my point of view, I’m trying to be helpful, but what I speak is not necessarily so positive.

Negative Bias

Do you have a negative bias? Recently one of my brilliant good friends and I tossed this stuff around for discussion for nearly an hour. It seems simple, but you have to dig deep within yourself to have it hit home.

Here are a few short case studies.

Someone proclaims they have been searching tirelessly for a new job. He or she states that they are being positive regarding their search. What do they talk about? All of the reasons why someone won’t hire them, how they are being discriminated against, and how it is just not fair.
Another person proclaims they start their day on a high note, but quickly weather conditions, the work commute, or the people they work with ruin their good mood. Much of their morning talk is about how someone else is ruining their day. However, they also say, “but I’m staying positive.”
Still another person claims that they are very focused on selling but they can’t achieve their goals. They repetitively state that the goal is lofty, the economy is off, and that the competition has a better marketing and advertising campaign. Yet they insist they are putting their head down and being positive.

In all three of these cases, the person is being effected by negative energy. They have a negative bias. Which also sets them up for confirmation bias, but that is another story.

Seeing Negative

Here is how this breaks down, it is simple, but sometimes hard to see at first.

The new job seeker isn’t focused on finding the job, he or she is focused on why they won’t get one.
The high note day starter is not looking for all the great things that surround them, he or she is looking for who is going to ruin their day. They believe it is coming, so they are watching for it, and find it.
In the third case, the sales person is not focused on more sales, he or she is focused on why they aren’t getting enough.

Positivity is not something you say. It is something that you do and say. What you say is what you think and it will strongly condition your outcomes.

Positivity Test

Do you believe you are a positive person who is focused on the positive? Do you have a negative bias? There is a pretty simple test that you can give yourself.

Do you feel stressed or have high anxiety? Game over, you are likely living, at least at the moment, with a negative bias.

No matter how much you tell yourself you are positive, your mind is seeing (feeling) negative. You expect it to happen. It is all you see and it is what you find.

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a five-time author and some of his work includes, #CustServ The Customer Service Culture, and Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

01
Feb 18
-

Positive Focus – Find Ten Reasons Why

Tags : focus naysayer persistence positive

People often suggest that they are going to focus on the positive and that they are committed to a more positive outcome. Do you have a positive focus or are you really a naysayer?

Thoughts and Words

A positive focus starts with what you think. It is confirmed, broadcast, and replicated by what you say.

When you start your day at the office, the plant, or any job site talking about the negativity that surrounds your life, you do not have a positive focus.

When you enter the boardroom, attend the strategic planning session, or participate in the meeting you do not have a positive focus if your only contribution is to recite problems.

Naysayer Syndrome

The naysayer wants company, and so does misery. It seems to me it is much easier to build the fear of failure into the equation and be wrong, than it is to risk bringing the solution. Naysayers believe they win either way. Say it will not work and if you’re wrong it is still alright.

This is the naysayer. Whatever others contribute, the naysayer offers why it is a bad idea, why it won’t work, and why to avoid taking the path.

The best way to have a positive focus may be to do the exact opposite of the naysayer.

Be Different

When the naysayer comes to the table, he or she brings with them all the reasons why not. Therefore, your job is to bring all the reasons why it will.

A positive focus comes from bringing ten reasons why it is worth a try. Even if it has been tried in the past. Everything may be different now. The circumstances and situations are different. They players may be different, the timing is different, and yes, even the presentation may be different.

Positive Focus

Do you have a positive focus? Become the person who brings the reasons why. Be farsighted and encouraging. List why it will work instead of setting up roadblocks with why it won’t.

Nearly anyone can find someone to turn to when they want confirmation of doom and gloom. You are the opposite, you confirm that it just might work.

A positive focus starts with the reasons why.

Try it.

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a five-time author and some of his work includes, #CustServ The Customer Service Culture, and Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

01
Sep 17
-

10 Ways To Get Motivated Now

Tags : motivation negative positive purpose situational

Motivation is an interesting thing. It is an emotional connection stimulated by a purpose. People debate whether motivation is intrinsic or extrinsic. Are you able to get motivated?

You might get many suggestions about what to do to get more motivated. If you don’t connect with any of those suggestions it isn’t going to make any difference.

Different Ways

I often suggest when talking with groups about workplace motivation that you can be motivated by fear or inspiration, or by punishment or reward. It seems there is a negative side and a positive side.

Motivation then, driven by emotions, can be very powerful. Willpower, a subject I love also has a connection here. In the workplace, our best motivation comes from having a purpose. Purpose can break down walls, eliminate stereotypes, and bring harmony to the team.

Do you want to get motivated or help to motivate others? Here are ten ways to jump-start your workplace motivation.

Positive:

Be professional. Set a standard, be the expert, role model what you and others in your profession or trade would want to be recognized as, or for.
Legacy. Good for any team, but especially good for individuals in the twilight of their career. What mark, standard, or lasting impression do you want to leave behind.
Dream big. Every day someone goes bigger, faster, or better. You can be the best in your town, your state, your region, or the world. It isn’t about competing, it’s just about bigger and better. Goals are achieved, history will be made.
Humanity. You do it to help others. You choose to be kind, generous, and sharing. It is a chance to become part of something, not for the pay, not to compete, but to just do good for humankind or a specific cause.
Connection. We work best together. We are successful because of each other. People want to come here, be here, and do good work. It only happens because we do it together. Everyone is leader and follower.

Negative:

Competition. I will not, or we will not be defeated. You can compete against other people, other businesses or even race against time. There are winners and losers, you’re going to win.
Embarrassment. We have to do this, we must do this or we’ll be shunned from the tribe. Most of all we will be letting others who count on us down. We don’t want to be losers or outcasts.
Revenge. There has been some wrongdoing and you’re going to change that. You will work harder and smarter than before. While the enemy sleeps, you’ll be stealing their food.
Inferior. Often connected to image, brand, or legacy, your work, product, or service is not good enough. You will not stop until it is perfect. The perfectionist in you just won’t allow that.
Fear. The boss says I must, and I don’t want to lose my job. I need this job and no matter what it is or how much I don’t like it, I do it because I have to do it. Hey, I am getting a paycheck.

Get Motivated

Perhaps the greatest thing about motivation is that it all works. Some might take you to the dark side, some is short-lived, but all of them may get the job done. Should you motivate from the positive or the negative? The best answer may be, it depends.

Motivation can be situational. For the strategy session it may be positive, when goals are slipping it may be more negative. All of it connects back to emotions and purpose. I always suggest positive over the negative and in some cases, the lines between the two may get blurry.

Anyone who doesn’t understand or care about the future outcome will probably lack motivation.

Understand the purpose, believe in it, and you’ll be pulled, no reason to push.

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a five-time author and some of his work includes, #CustServ The Customer Service Culture, and Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

Tag Archives: positive

Aug 21

-

Talk at Work

Positive Language

Feb 21

-

Negative Fantasies

Jan 21

-

Problem Solution

Mar 19

Good Focus

Job Appreciation

Mar 19

What Are You Saying?

Positive Affirmations

Nov 18

What’s Your Fix?

Daily Routine

Wasted Energy

Oct 18

-

Beating Yourself Up

Doing Your Best

Developing Positive Energy

Apr 18

-

Negative Bias

Seeing Negative

Positivity Test

Feb 18

-

Thoughts and Words

Naysayer Syndrome

Be Different

Positive Focus

Sep 17

-

Different Ways

Positive:

Negative:

Get Motivated

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