communication Archives - Dennis E. Gilbert

13
Aug 21
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Communication Experiences, Doc Holliday Changed Mine

Tags : communication Gen z generations hearing listening

Everyone has communication experiences. Recognizing how individual experiences affect conversation clarity can make a significant difference in the workplace and in life.

A number of months ago my nephew sent me a text message, “I got a new whip.”

I thought, what the heck? What does he mean a new whip?

Moments later a picture of a new bicycle popped into my message box on my phone.

I laughed.

Then a few days ago I stumbled across a line from a movie. A line that I recognized easily, only now it was different. It was different from what I had understood for more than 25 years.

“I’m your huckleberry.”

Do you know the movie? Tombstone, produced in 1993.

If you saw the movie, you’ll likely remember this line or phrase.

Doc Holiday, (Val Kilmer) said it many times as he was about to draw his pistol in a old west style gun fight.

Only, what I learned was this is not what was being said. Apparently in the mid-1800s the handle on a casket was called a huckle, and someone helping to carry the casket was called a bearer. Today, we often call this a pallbearer. (Example scene 1:15)

Immediately, I went to YouTube and searched, “I’m your huckleberry.”

When I listened differently. I heard it differently.

Communication Experiences

This isn’t where my experience stopped.

It is where it started.

It started here because this movie is more than 25 years old. This means that Generation Z likely knows little about this movie. Certainly, good movies last for decades and decades, but would Gen Z connect with this experience? Would the youngest millennials?

Some of them, perhaps. They may have watched it with their parents or even an older brother or sister. It’s a western theme by genre so some will have skipped it all together.

Communication shapes our experiences. A huckleberry is much different from a huckle bearer. (My spell checker doesn’t even validate huckle.)

A YouTube or Google search follows what the masses of people would search, huckleberry. Some suggest that Val Kilmer was actually saying, huckleberry. It was a mistake with his lines and then they kept using it.

What communication have you misunderstood? What communication have the people all around you misunderstood?

How will you communicate better when the workforce is generationally diverse such that they may not understand what you understand?

It’s really just the edge of a much deeper topic.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

12
Aug 21
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Meeting Discussion, Listening, and Being Heard

Tags : argument change communication discussion meeting

What does your meeting discussion look like? Better yet, have you considered what your discussion feels like?

Some meetings are informational. Someone speaks, others are expected to listen, take notes, and then to proceed with the prescribed information. It isn’t intended to be interactive. It is more of a press briefing.

In many workplace meetings, there is heavy interaction. Questions raised, statements that sound like questions, and rebuttals.

Most businesses feel that they have room to improve on communication. At one point, or another, they’ve had a breakdown in communication that felt costly.

It might be happening in their internal meetings yet often it isn’t recognized.

Meeting Discussion

Depending on the meeting format and agenda, some people may attend a meeting to be heard. Listening is secondary.

This can be the case when the culture has previously illustrated that meetings are mostly informational, intended to be a meeting leader speaks and everyone else listens.

After all, the meeting leader may have a point to be made. A point or list of points that are intended to change something in the present and for the future.

Changing forward direction may come from a compelling speech. It may come from a good or bad experience. Something shocking, delightful, or that reduces pain.

For everything else, listening may be more important. Listening helps provide clarity, gain understanding, and illustrate values and beliefs.

People don’t jump on board when they lack trust. People who have different values or beliefs struggle with information that feels contradictory to their own personal pathways or agenda.

Suggested change meets a lot of opposition when it is dictated. It gains much more traction when others see it as a pathway that works.

A discussion makes more difference when compared with a command.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

02
Jun 21
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Ultimate Meeting Question, Have You Asked It?

Tags : attendance communication meeting workplace

Have you asked the ultimate meeting question? Of course this question may take on various forms.

Does this meeting make sense?

Is the length of this meeting appropriate?

Are the right people at this meeting?

One common fallacy of the workplace meeting is that it was created when the belief was that the communication hasn’t been clear.

In other words, we haven’t been communicating well enough so let’s have a meeting.

From my experiences most organizations believe that they have room to improve when it comes to communication effectiveness. They often don’t know exactly how to pursue improvement, but they believe that they would benefit from it.

If you have one dozen people in your organization, you can probably call for a staff meeting without significant disruption. Sure, you may have to pause the operation, but wrangling up a dozen people is different from fifty people or five thousand.

Ultimate Meeting Question

The evolution of meetings is often interesting. They start with good intentions. They always seem to make sense in the beginning, yet, across time things shift.

The original purpose of the meeting may change. People come and go, often excuses for absenteeism develops, and conversations often stray off subject.

The Zoom meeting has experienced exponential growth in the past 12 to 15 months. Has communication improved? Has it declined? Have new meetings been created? Are they both efficient and effective?

Are the meetings you attend stressful? Why, or why not?

Are the meetings you attend mandatory?

What is your ultimate meeting question? Have you asked it? Will you?

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

19
May 21
-

Voice Matters And It Counts, Use It Wisely

Tags : communication culture impact psychology of work voice

Do you believe your voice matters? Have you ever thought that your communication is not heard or understood?

You’re certainly not alone.

It often feels best to be reflective of positive communication and positive interactions.

Have a great day.

Beautiful weather we’re having.

Great job in the meeting yesterday.

That is the type of communication most people are grateful for, they appreciate it, and welcome more of it.

Sometimes there are other forms of communication. Harsh, curt, or condescending.

And still, there are other forms, including aggressive, passive aggressive, or sarcasm.

Do all of these communications matter or only some of them?

Voice Matters

Your voice, what you say, what you do, how you act, it all becomes part of the organizational culture.

It is common that many businesses or organizations believe that their culture is only representative of what they want it to be. In other words, what they believe that are working towards is how it actually is.

This is often a root cause for why large-scale change efforts fail. When management believes that the culture, environment, and climate are representative of only what they say, and not what everyone does, it could spell trouble.

It is an easy trap to fall into.

Ask an organization leader how good their customer service is and they’ll probably tell you about a lot of success stories. Are they the best person to ask? Not really, the customers are the best people to ask.

Every organization is made up of both good and bad. While a focus on the good is favorable over a focus on the bad, pretending that the bad doesn’t exist often doesn’t make it go away.

Does your voice matter?

It matters either way.

You have a choice to make a positive and constructive impact or to become part of the problem.

You might think your voice doesn’t matter, yet every time your contributions are heard, that means someone was listening.

What happens next is conditioned by the people.

Good or bad.

Be the good voice.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

20
Apr 21
-

Workplace Explanations Guide The Conversation

Tags : assumptions client requirements communication details

Is that the intent, or is it for clarity? When you give workplace explanations what are you truly trying to express?

When the work comes up short and the effort is in question, someone will likely attempt to give an explanation.

The explanation doesn’t contain all of the detail. It’s a nugget, a piece of the story, not the entire version because that would seem unproductive.

Instead, a truncated version is offered. It attempts to direct the listener to a better understanding.

I purchased a rather expensive new laptop recently. It came with one tiny slip of paper in the box. There was no instruction manual or a booklet. Just a website link or two. An explanation of how to seek help if you need it.

There is an assumption though. The assumption is that you already have another method to locate additional information. If you can’t access the web, you’re somewhat stuck.

What if you need a deeper explanation?

Workplace Explanations

A trouble spot with explanations are the assumptions.

It may often be an attempt to guide the feature outcomes. You tell the story as you want it perceived for understanding.

It won’t be finished today; we received the wrong part.

The customer changed her mind so we had to start over.

No one mentioned that they wanted that shade of green.

The story may omit certain details. Details of the evolution of the project, a passage of blame, or request for empathy.

More information is sometimes required, yet it may be left out of the discussion.

In some cases, it is an intentional steering or shaping of the project and its outcomes.

It may be perceived as a time saver. You don’t need to know the details; you just need to know that it is so. Taken to the extreme it may represent a do as I say, not as I do.

People tell stories. Their story may leave out some details. Those details shape the impressions of the listeners and ultimately the outcome of future endeavors.

When in doubt ask more questions. The explanation is nearly always only a part of the complete story.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

13
Apr 21
-

Accepting Feedback Faces Growing Challenges

Tags : communication constructive criticism destructive feedback

Are you good at accepting feedback? Which side of feedback are you most comfortable with, giving or receiving?

When I ask about the feedback exchange in workshops it is usually a mixed response. Some of it is conditioned by the culture of any given organization, but much of it is conditioned by past experiences.

Past experiences drive perceptions of future information. Criticism and ridicule are destructive. Even when someone tries to dress it up with the use of the word, constructive.

Are the challenges with feedback growing?

Leaders and Feedback

In the workplace leadership and culture is driven by the people. Not just one person or two, but everyone. Even customers and vendors may play a role in how organizational culture takes shape.

Some leaders struggle with being liked, or not. They take being liked as the foundation for everything and if they are disliked it is hard to deal with.

Leadership and relationships go hand-in-hand, yet being liked may not be the most important aspect. Being respected is probably much more meaningful.

Formal authority or your ranking position may give your authority but when it comes to respect it is all about your behavior.

Feedback drives everyone, including those in leadership roles.

Accepting Feedback

Accepting feedback is especially challenging these days. There seems to be an abundance of criticism and disrespect. If you have a different idea you may face being cancelled. If you have an older idea, belief, or value, you’re first threatened, then cancelled.

It is important to differentiate feedback from useless criticism.

Feedback should be a tool for learning. Sometimes it is a tool for learning more about the giver rather than the receiver. It seems intended for the receiver but it may also reveal other underlying issues or problems of the giver.

Not everyone has to like you. Not everyone will.

The emphasis on being liked is rooted deep in social media. It is the more is better concept.

Technology algorithms reinforce this.

Feedback may not always be accurate. It may not always spark change.

Be careful about what you allow to sink in.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

09
Apr 21
-

Work Promises, Are You Keeping Them?

Tags : commitment communication promise workflow

Are you in the habit of handing out work promises? Promising to do this, or do that? Are some of the promise’s expectations?

Work promises are always happening.

I’ll get this done before the next meeting.

This won’t take long, I’ll do it before Noon.

I’ll call the customer.

Promises are an offer to contribute. They set an expectation and are often evidence of teamwork and commitment.

Sometimes promises start the meeting. They illustrate the agenda, set the expectations, and confirm a timeline.

Sometimes promises end the meeting. They confirm the to-do list, establish the next meeting date, and congratulate positive outcomes.

When expectations are set, people are counting on you. A promise is intended to quell worry, provide a solution, and most of all, be reliable.

What work promises are you giving?

Work Promises

Does your workplace have trust? Do you trust someone that they will get the project finished on time and with good quality? Have you ever been let down?

Workplace trust, or lack of it, is a leading cause of dysfunctional teams.

Employees often underestimate the commitment or expectation of a promise made. There is sometimes a good intention, the offer of help, and a gesture of kindness. If unfulfilled other promises and commitments get trampled and are broken.

In examples of poor leadership, the leader goes only to people he or she can trust. Meanwhile the best performers get stuck with doing more while poorer performers are allowed to go unchecked.

Managers and supervisors who are unable or unwilling to address problem performers cause more dysfunction.

Promises are sometimes made and other times they are assumed.

Either way a promise is both a commitment and an obligation.

Teams that are both functional and reliable will have stronger results.

I promise.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

26
Mar 21
-

Stressed Out Talk Is Different From Normal Talk

Tags : communication good intentions leadership respect stressed out

A short fuse. That is a common descriptor for when our patience, energy, or control is right on the edge of a snap. Is your stressed-out talk different from when things are more calm or mild?

Everyone has a guideline that they operate from. It’s a way that they conduct themselves or their business. It is tempered somewhat, not exactly what may be brewing on the inside, but a more controlled and socially responsible version.

When people get tired, pushed, or otherwise stressed out, sometimes the Kraken comes out.

He blew up.

She lost it!

He totally freaked out!

While fuse length varies and is conditioned by many factors, nobody wants this to happen.

Is there something in-between the blow-up and the totally in-control you?

Stressed Out Talk

Authenticity matters but for everyone looking to lead there is a fine line or a balancing act for what you deliver.

When you set out to deliver your best you are probably being very tactical in your approach.

You may be conscious that you need to be kind, be patient, and have empathy. You might also be thinking about how to be more respectful, more generous, or mindful of navigating the rough spots.

It works for many, most of the time.

Yet there are occasions when the time feels short, something is overdue, or expectations have been thrown out the window.

That’s when our somewhat rigid structure of self-management begins to break down and slip out.

It’s not viewed as the normal you.

Interactions and behaviors are always about conscious choice.

An apology for a slip-up is a good idea. Behavior tempered, even when the fuse is short is much better.

Make conscious choices and have self-awareness. As a leader, you’ll contribute better with the proper intentions. It’s always better than needing to make an apology.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

18
Mar 21
-

Drama Habit, Do You Create More Of It?

Tags : communication drama habits respect workplace

Do you have a drama habit? What about members of the team, do they seem to thrive on it? Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that people like to have more of what makes them feel comfortable.

Did you grow up eating breakfast or skipping it? What about lunch, have you made a habit out of skipping lunch or do you always eat?

The same questions might apply for morning beverages, after hour beverages, or even when you brush your teeth.

Workplace Drama

Many workplaces are full drama.

Drama about how to get the next customer or close the next sale may not be a bad form of drama.

Drama about what Susan is wearing or whether Jack will use micro-aggressions with the boss today may not be healthy.

Certainly, it may go deeper than that. The drama may be about workplace romances and who does what during their off-work time. It may even dip into discriminatory patterns with racial undertones, gender issues, age, and many other areas.

Can you stop it? Should you?

Drama Habit

It is a truism that many people do what they do because they are seeking comfort. Consciously or subconsciously, this is often the case.

People reposition in their chairs, follow a specific daily routine, and seek comfort in repetitive social patterns.

In 2020, you probably started to have a meeting or two either via Zoom, Skype, or Microsoft teams. In other cases perhaps you were still meeting in the conference room, only everyone was wearing a mask. Was this different? Was it comfortable?

Workplace drama can come and go. When a drama topic starts to slow down and interest is less, surprisingly, or not so much, new drama will take its place.

If you have witnessed this you may be wondering what can you do? Is there anything you can do? Is drama here to stay?

Plan for Change

A plan by workplace leaders to be a catalyst for shifting the drama may be the best approach. If drama is here to stay, shifting it to more constructive approaches may be your answer.

In short, if all of the talk, the focus, and the chatter are about production, services, and helping the customer there is much less room for negative, degrading, and disrespectful drama.

Communication is everyone’s responsibility. Consider what your communication consists of and how to regain focus on what matters the most.

Are you part of the problem? Creating drama about the people who are the most dramatic may mean you’re part of the problem, not the solution.

It probably isn’t about the flip-flops Susan is wearing or whether Jack is bashing the boss behind her back.

Change the discussion and leave less room for all the stuff that doesn’t really matter.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

11
Nov 20
-

Compelling Leaders Are Better Communicators

Tags : communication compelling persuasive

What creates leaders? What creates followers? Do compelling leaders create better followers?

What does it mean to be a leader?

What is leadership?

Two questions that I often ask when helping teams build foundational skills for leadership.

We don’t always stop to think about it and people attempt to connect the dots of leadership with the concept of formal authority. The formal authority suggests that you’ve moved to the position of supervisor, manager, or director.

Formal authority matters. Yet, leadership is about so much more.

Formal authority is often granted to people with the highest credential, the person or persons who have been around the longest, or the ones that demonstrate great depth in technical skills.

Leadership is expected to ensue.

Does it?

Not always.

Are They Communicators?

There are terms often thrown around to indicate people who are compelling.

You can consider phrases like, “street smarts,” or “used car salesman.” Both of these are often quickly identified with someone who can navigate people situations with clever grace.

They create buy-in or can sell beach front property in South Dakota.

They are well skilled in persuasive communication. Most of their skill is developed informally, not through conventional education but through trial and error. They’re observers and they’ve learned what works and what doesn’t.

It is not so much natural as it is a learned skill.

They’ve developed communication skills that allow them to be convincing and compelling.

Compelling Leaders

Every once-in-a-while we encounter a compelling leader.

The compelling leader has a large tool box. He or she can stand toe-to-toe with the formal leaders, and can also create a strong following.

People rarely follow because they are told to do so. People follow because they are compelled to do so.

There is a phrase, a meme of sorts, “Great leaders don’t develop a belief in the leader, they develop a belief in the follower.”

The best news for any leader, formal or otherwise, is that the act of creating a compelling message is a learned skill. Being a great leader is an option. It’s not an appointed position.

Compelling leaders are great learners.

And great communicators.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Tag Archives: communication

Aug 21

-

Communication Experiences

Aug 21

-

Meeting Discussion

Jun 21

-

Ultimate Meeting Question

May 21

-

Voice Matters

Apr 21

-

Workplace Explanations

Apr 21

-

Leaders and Feedback

Accepting Feedback

Apr 21

-

Work Promises

Mar 21

-

Stressed Out Talk

Mar 21

-

Workplace Drama

Drama Habit

Plan for Change

Nov 20

-

Are They Communicators?

Compelling Leaders

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