emotional intelligence Archives

07
Aug 19
-

Remove the Emotion, Stop Taking it Personally

Tags : emotional intelligence emotions engagement motivation personally

Are people in your work group, department, or organization taking it personally? Does the theme, “Remove the emotion,” echo in meeting chambers?

Here is the rub.

The last time I checked, emotion was connected to things like passion, enthusiasm, and even motivation. Workplace energy is connected to emotion. Like it, or not, it is.

Emotions Removed?

Every time an employee is shunned by the statement, “Remove the emotion!” they are one step closer to a disconnect and disengagement.

The next time they feel excited, happy, or energized, a voice inside suggests, “Remove the emotion.”

Certainly, there are sometimes leadership decisions and choices that require a temporary disconnect from the emotion. Making it the lyrics of your corporate theme song is probably not a good idea.

Personally

Taking it personally is another trouble spot. People want to be taken seriously and seriousness is often felt to be personal.

People sometimes joke, perhaps with distaste, “It is personal, like a heart attack.” Yet, when expressions of self-reflection are offered, it seems to become too personal.

Seriousness is a fact of business. It may be part of your emotional intelligence quotient. Most would suggest, seriousness is required.

Can you be professional and take things personally? Are these mutually exclusive?

One thing is certain, emotion is often what drives us. Emotion sharpens the presentation of the professional. All of our happiness, fear, and disappointment has a way of moving us.

Personally, I would be cautious about losing the emotional drive of your workforce.

Seriously.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

04
Sep 18
2

Removing Emotion, Why Emotion May Be What You Need

Tags : decisions emotional intelligence passion removing emotion

It makes me chuckle. Not a happy chuckle, but a, “Wow, are you sure you’re doing the right thing because I’m doubtful,” kind of chuckle. Are you suggesting that removing emotion is required in your workplace?

Recently I had an opportunity to bid on a keynote presentation for a company retreat. One of the suggested paths for the talk was to encourage employees to remove the emotion in their workplace.

I won’t submit a bid.

Who Does This?

Engineering firms are notorious for this approach, followed closely by manufacturing firms, and ultimately any organization that may earn the moniker of Sweatshop.

Certainly, I mean no disrespect to any firms, in any sector.

However, you’ll likely find a bear in the woods, a taxi in the city, and a McSomething at McDonalds. As with most things in life, it is not representative of all engineering or manufacturing firms, but from my experiences these represent a more likely place to find it.

Emotional Pursuit

The last time I checked, emotion was a very big part of what moves people. Emotion is often the fuel for pursuit.

Is passion an emotion? What about excitement, is excitement driven by emotion? And of course, fear is an emotion, although it should not be regarded as a positive approach.

Organizations that encourage removing emotion will likely land with far greater problems than the issues they are trying to improve.

What are they trying to improve? Likely they are trying to reduce drama, poor decision making, and behaviors that signal a disconnect between the masses of the workforce and the leadership team.

Removing Emotion

Are you suggesting that removing emotion is a good thing? It is doubtful that this will be beneficial. In fact, it could make things much worse.

Instead consider discovering and exploring the kind of emotion you should have. Consider things like passion, persistence, and tenacity. All of which are connected to, or are, emotionally driven.

What are you really trying to remove?

-DEG

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Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

30
Jul 18
-

3 Emotionally Intelligent Actions For Customers

Tags : customer service emotional intelligence memorable satisfaction

In a service economy, customer service means everything. Unfortunately, sometimes our perceptions or behaviors don’t seem to align with customer needs. Are you taking emotionally intelligent actions?

Organizational Actions

Certainly, most organizations believe that they are acting responsible for the customer. At the same time, they are also appropriately conditioned to act financially responsible for their organization.

Here are three of many emotionally intelligent actions you can take for your customers.

Be perceptive. Emotionally intelligent organizations are working with their social radar to scan the environment for needs. In the restaurant, it is the nearly empty glass of iced tea, the coffee mug running low, or the quiet table selected for two. Apply this type of logic regardless of your business.
Anticipate needs. Perhaps nothing is more powerful than the ability to anticipate the needs of your customer. While hard to describe this entails a sense of upcoming needs and offering a solution before the customer recognizes the need. Properly executed perhaps nothing will inspire trust or make the moment more memorable than this action.
Control Emotions. Good days, bad days, and unexpected situations may leave the human side of customer service scrambling to keep things in check. Our emotions will condition outputs. Hopefully good actions much more than not so good, but stress requires more effort to keep our human performance in check.

What emotionally intelligent actions make the top of your list?

Emotionally Intelligent

Thriving in a service economy will require you to be a step ahead of the competition.

Many organizations spend money, time, and other precious resources on items that don’t always have a memorable impact with customers.

In other cases, they struggle to balance financial responsibility with being truly customer centric. No organization can afford to “give away the store.” However, efforts to conserve resources often impact customer satisfaction.

Be emotionally intelligent, find the right balance.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a five-time author and some of his work includes, #CustServ The Customer Service Culture, and Forgotten Respect, Navigating a Multigenerational Workforce. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

19
Jul 17
-

Why Empathy Will Advance Your Career

Tags : emotional intelligence empathy persistence value

People show up for the job interview prepared to talk about how they are technically the best fit. They focus on the mechanics, the knowledge, and their life experiences. The truth is that those are all important but have you considered why empathy will advance your career?

Today’s job market has interesting challenges. Many employee seekers find many job seekers with more than adequate technical skills. Have you considered what might be missing?

Some suggest that job seekers are missing skills connected with Emotional Intelligence of which empathy is a significant component.

Why Empathy

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Communication. Employers want great communicators. They’ve heard repeatedly that communication is problematic from team members. When everyone is so technically skilled, businesses are looking for someone who offers something extra.
Understanding. Empathy is not sympathy. Empathy is having an understanding. Employers need team members that are able to reach across the generations and other workplace bias to create team success. Emotions drive actions and behaviors. Those with empathy skills harness it.
Easy is average. Demonstrating that you can play in the sandbox and consider another’s point of view that might be different from your own is not always easy. Most people do what comes easily. Empathy will positively set you apart from the crowd. Everyone else is average.

Empathy Adds Value

Additionally, businesses can outsource much of the technical skills if necessary. When projects back up there might be services and options from an external source that can get things moving again. They can’t easily outsource empathy. It must be developed or come as a package.

Do you want to advance in your career? Is it possible to be the resource that is exactly what businesses need but very few possess?

Consider your Emotional Intelligence skillset and be sure you are including empathy as a core value.

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a four-time author and some of his work includes, Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce and Pivot and Accelerate, The Next Move Is Yours! Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

13
Feb 17
-

Social Radar, What’s on Yours?

Tags : emotional intelligence leadership social radar

We’ve all met the person without a filter, right? If you haven’t, beware, because it just might be you. Have you considered what is on your social radar?

Although I’m not completely sure, I believe the term, “Social Radar,” may have come from the internationally known psychologist, Daniel Goleman.

In the workplace or any social circle we often bump into someone who just doesn’t seem to get it. They tend to say or do things that shock others.

It’s often more than just a little slip of the tongue. For seemingly unknown or misunderstood reasons, they appear to have no idea about the impact of what they say or do. Perhaps more important, they don’t understand how it might be offensive to others.

Here are a couple of examples:

Bad Manners. This is not about knowing the proper placement of the fork, butter knife, or spoon at a formal table setting. You might think of this as things like coughing without covering your mouth, belching, or other human behaviors that socially most would consider foul.
Gutter Mouth. Businesses and organizations all have a culture. Some may not find swearing or locker room talk offensive, but others find it strongly offensive. Make sure you understand your environment, error on the side of no foul language.
Wrong Humor. When you combine bad manners with gutter mouth you might end up with what some would consider as inappropriate humor. We might see it on television or in a movie where it is shocking and funny. In many real life social circles it is often highly offensive.

This isn’t the real story though. The real story isn’t about identifying these behaviors it is about being aware and not making costly mistakes that could derail your professional relationships, tarnish your career, or worse.

Social Radar

While there are at least several things important for improving or enhancing your social radar probably the single most important skill is listening. Following that would be reading body language, observation and awareness skills, and empathy.

People with the best social radar strive to master:

Listening well. Give your full and undivided attention, with listening you really can’t do two things at once. Listen carefully and with empathy. Become more aware of social cues that should guide your behavior.
Gaining perspective. Often people with weak social radar are only aware of their own personal agenda. What is in it for themselves, and giving very little understanding or consideration for another’s perspective. Work hard to understand others perspective.
Giving help. Lead with being considerate of others first. Be respectful and strive to help out. Your goal should be to improve their comfort level while becoming more aware and sensitive to their needs.

Social radar is a big subject and it is so much more than just about guiding your filters. Improving your social radar will help with building better professional relationships, improving the customer experience, and increasing sales.

Social radar, what’s on yours?

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a four-time author and some of his work includes, Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce and Pivot and Accelerate, The Next Move Is Yours! Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

24
Jan 17
-

A Bad Mood Ruins Everything, Lose It!

Tags : emotional intelligence engagement focus positive

Do you notice when someone is in a bad mood? Do you notice when people appear to be in a good mood?

You’ve probably heard it before, “Attitudes are contagious!” The same might be true for people who are in a bad mood.

People often find what they are looking for. Are you looking for an argument, you’ll probably find one. Are you looking for others just as angry as you are, you’ll probably find some. Stop.

A bad mood ruins everything.

In my profession, I hear about people with bad moods often. If you want to stifle workplace energy and motivation throw someone with a bad mood into the mix.

Can we change our mood? Absolutely, and it often begins with understanding a little about emotional intelligence. How we perceive our workplace environment, the culture, and other people will typically have a big impact on our mood.

Here are a few tips to help replace a bad mood, with a good one.

Focus on tasks at hand. Bad moods often develop by reliving a negative experience. Stop dwelling on it and move forward. You’ve got work to do, stay focused.
Recognize benefits. What are the benefits of being in a bad mood? I can’t think of any. What are the benefits of being in a good mood? More relaxed, less stress, helps others, and so many more!
Stop comparing. Many people feel that someone else has it better. A better life, better relationships, and a better job. Stop comparing yourself to others. Instead compare yourself to your next goal.
Realize that life is short. If you’re often in a bad mood at work or about work consider that as a person you only have so much time, why waste even a minute of it being in a bad mood. Be thankful for your job or find a new one.
Look for good mood people. Have a sense of curiosity and appreciation for good mood people. They’re out there but you might have to change your own mood first. Next, find two or three of them and then act like a crowd.

Perhaps nothing will zap your energy, give you a headache, cause you harmful stress and burn you out faster than when you are in a bad mood.

Good moods mean everything.

You might consider that moods happen, but you’ll decide if you stay with it. One answer is to grow your levels of emotional intelligence allowing you to spot the negativity and replace it with positivity before it brings you or others down.

You might not be able to control what happens in your environment but you can control how you react to it.

Put yourself in a good mood.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a four-time author and some of his work includes, Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce and Pivot and Accelerate, The Next Move Is Yours! Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

19
Jan 17
-

Constructive Thinking Makes Your Day

Tags : constructive thinking emotional intelligence positive thinking

Many people rise every morning with the intent of having a great day, but some will rise every day with their first thought being about everything that will go wrong. Constructive thinking is part of our emotional intelligence, but it only makes a difference when we use it.

It might help to understand the differences between constructive and destructive thinking. Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first.

Destructive Thinking

There are many things that might bring on destructive thinking, and unfortunately people sometimes become hooked on such patterns, patterns then become habits, and it’s hard to break free.

When does destructive thinking get life? Here are a few possibilities, when you:

are hurried;
feel angry or dislike;
are embarrassed;
have tight deadlines;
get unfavorable feedback.

Of course there are many other scenarios that might play out to put you on a path of destructive thinking.

You might not close a sale or opportunity you’ve been working on, you might be uncomfortable with people you work around, or you are highly stressed by multiple and growing demands of your time or attention.

Constructive Thinking

One of the keys for more constructive thinking is to minimize or not allow any room for the destructive stuff, replace destructive with constructive and perhaps most important, make it a habit.

Give yourself some new patterns of thinking. Here are a few opportunities.

Being optimistic. Instead of seeing how your worst thought or fear might come true consider what are the good things that might happen next? Look for opportunity in a roadblock and get excited about pursuing things from a different (better) approach.
Build a positive prophecy. See the future as happening for you, not to you. See the end result as a positive outcome. Eliminate questionable thinking. Think, “I am strong and I am successful,” instead of “I’ll try hard and I will become better.”
Live in today, not yesterday. We learn from mistakes, let downs, and failures, but that doesn’t mean that we have to re-live them. Grow from past experiences but don’t keep reliving negative or unwanted outcomes. See yourself in a better place.

In the heat of the moment we can also take a break, some deep breaths, and discipline ourselves to replace harsh unwanted thoughts with something more constructive. In challenging relationships we might need to establish a plan or a course of action that will allow us to break patterns of negativity.

Additional Considerations

Consider what you talk about, what you share with others. Sometimes people claim they are very positive, but all they speak of is negativity. Certainly everyone might need to vent occasionally but minimize this activity because it only keeps you reliving the unwanted.

Last, but certainly not least, sometimes we might have to consider if there are other explanations for what is happening. Are you misunderstanding the circumstances or situations? Are you assuming too much or too little? If you were in someone else’s shoes would you view this differently?

Constructive thinking might be one of the most powerful things you can do to turn things around.

Go ahead, make your day!

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSP^TM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a four-time author and some of his work includes, Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce and Pivot and Accelerate, The Next Move Is Yours! Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

12
Apr 16
2

Millennials, GenZ, and Soft Skills

Tags : emotional intelligence generational differences soft skills

Somebody once said, “You hire for hard skills and fire for soft skills.” Most people and organizations who have made the investment to hire, certainly don’t want to spend the time and money to replace an employee. Does the millennial and GenZ (Gen 9/11, iGen) population lack soft skills?

Working Across Generations

There seems to be an abundance of opinions surrounding the differences of values and beliefs when working across the generations. Some are likely true, some are likely ill-founded, and still others may be true, but only for some individuals, not all. A popular view of differences between the youngest generations and those who have been in the workforce for some time is that younger generations are doing many of the same things as those who have come before them, they are just doing those things later in life.

There is much evidence of this trend. Consider first jobs, first cars, and first time home buyers. You can also consider the average age of those getting married and the average age of those having children. This seems to be substantiated as nearly every traditional, boomer, or gen X person will agree. Of course it is not absolute, not everyone is in this same place of doing similar things, only later, but many agree there is a trend.

Soft Skills Dilemma

Technology has certainly changed our lives. In world where we are attached to our cell phones, live with mild to severe cases of nomophobia, and sit in small groups paying more attention to our devices than to the person beside us; are the newest generations building soft skills?

Arguably every generation has found a path for communicating, but for more recent generations that path has changed. Traditionals and boomers learned to read body language, monitor the flow of the conversation, and find ways to figuratively read people, long before they entered the workforce. Today we might refer to some of this as emotional intelligence, a soft skill.

Once upon a time interactions were dependent on people, now the interactions are sometimes more dependent on technology. If traditionals and boomers learned much about soft skills before entering the workforce it could mean that todays workforce is coming up short upon entry. In many cases, our daily interactions with people have shifted more towards interacting with a cell phone or a computer.

Many jobs require people to interact (live, face-to-face), brainstorm, and solve problems. People working in groups also face challenges such as differences of opinion, conflicting values, and various interpersonal styles.

So it might beg the question, are the more recent generations rich on hard skills, but short on soft skills?

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker, and coach that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is the author of the newly released book, Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce. Reach him through his website at DennisEGilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+

Tag Archives: emotional intelligence

Aug 19

-

Emotions Removed?

Personally

Sep 18

Who Does This?

Emotional Pursuit

Removing Emotion

Jul 18

-

Organizational Actions

Emotionally Intelligent

Jul 17

-

Why Empathy

Empathy Adds Value

Feb 17

-

Social Radar

Jan 17

-

A bad mood ruins everything.

Good moods mean everything.

Jan 17

-

Destructive Thinking

Constructive Thinking

Additional Considerations

Apr 16

Working Across Generations

Soft Skills Dilemma

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