Tag Archives: victim

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shared reality

Shared Reality Is a Good Place To Start

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Most workplaces quickly realize that their continuance is based on a shared reality. In your team, does everyone understand this concept?

It’s often easier and feels more trusting to keep the focus more individualized. It also appears as somewhat selfish.

People often talk about the simple concept of win-win. Yet in reality, many team members are only focused on a stand-alone win. The stand-alone win is problematic for the team because it isn’t about the team. It is about every person for themself.

In low trust environments, gossip is sure to ensue. Along with gossip often comes blaming and complaining.

Being your own advocate is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, sometimes it is the only way to survive a difficult situation. At the same time, does this course of action imply negligence to an otherwise shared reality?

Shared Reality

The person proclaiming to be the victim is not always the only victim. The frequent complainer and blamer is not the only person affected. Outcomes of what happens next are shared when everyone is in it together.

Insisting that you are being singled out for schedule changes, forced overtime requirements, or curt conversations with the boss is probably unlikely.

Victimhood and chronic whining may work initially but the long-term consequences are not desirable.

Better is finding a way to work together to improve flaws in the process.

Complaining, blaming, and whining do little to solve a problem. They largely only prolong a festering of the symptoms.

In a team, everyone is involved. It’s a shared reality, or it isn’t a team.


Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSPTM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

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Same Old, Same Old

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Routines become part of life, if you allow it. A routine of getting prepared, being organized, exercise and healthy eating may all be considered good. Routines in support of the status quo, limited learning opportunities, and only accepting what comes easily in life may not be so good.


Many people pursue life as one big habit. They move through daily, weekly, monthly, seasonal, and annual routines. They look ahead to holidays, vacation time, and the start of a new year. Suddenly, they find themselves asking—where did the time go?

You see the same old routine doesn’t really get you anywhere, unless of course, some misfortune or luck affects your future outcomes. Oddly enough, this seems to be representative of many of the same people who claim they are victims. Victims of no luck, no opportunities, and a mundane life that has them experiencing a mid-life crisis for twenty or thirty years. Suddenly (or maybe not)  it is too late and they find themselves xperiencing end of life resentment for unfulfilled expectations. People and circumstances are blamed but they seldom accept responsibility for their own outcomes. 

This is exactly why the ability to Pivot and Accelerate has never been more important.

Your time is now.

We may not know what the fox says, but we know what the victim says: “same old, same old.”


Photo Credit: Domenico Salvagnin

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