Tag Archives: self-confidence

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Are You Your Worst Critic, or Best?

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You came up short on your life goal, you narrowly missed being selected for the promotion, or a gigantic roadblock appeared that you didn’t expect. Are you your worst critic, or best?

your worst critic

As people we often see the worst in ourselves. We punish ourselves for coming up short, making a mistake, or narrowly missing an opportunity. Here is the brutal truth, don’t be so hard on yourself.

Your Worst Critic

Yesterday a dear friend shared something very private with me. It was something that he has carried for more than 30 years. With his head lowered and a never before heard softness in his voice, he expressed some of his pain.

While his story was difficult and upsetting to him my immediate reaction was that this situation was not his downfall, but it was his gift. (Just for the record, he is quite successful but he doesn’t always see it that way.)

This situation shaped his life and has made him a very positive force in all that he does and all that he pursues. It is his motivation, his driving force, and he uses it for the greater good of mankind. I celebrate him by writing this, but he might have his head down still caught up in the moments of discomfort or pain that he still carries to this day. What do I believe? I believe he is truly great.

Best Critic

Here are a few tips to help you keep your life in perspective:

  1. Be authentic. You aren’t anyone else, and no one else is you. Own any mistakes, but never let them slow you down, you’re only passing up future opportunities if you do.
  2. Stay positive. Staying positive is not telling yourself, “I am positive.” Staying positive is living and viewing all of life through a different lens. If your self-talk is about everything that went wrong, or everything that you expect will go wrong, no amount of stating that you are positive will take you there.
  3. Perfect is unreasonable. Perfection like beauty is often measured in the eye of the beholder. While you may see something as perfection, others might find fault. Stop lowering your self-esteem by comparing yourself to someone else. Measure against your own past performances or strive for improvement.
  4. Remind yourself of past accomplishments. Your life will be full of ups and downs, highs and lows. I don’t know of a single success story that doesn’t include some of both. Any ups and downs during a 12 month window might only represent a little over 1% of your life. Pick yourself up and get back on track.
  5. Someone might tell you that you can’t. There are always people who will tell you that you can’t achieve more. Instead of listening to them and allowing their prophecy to manifest inside you, turn it around and allow it to be your motivation to prove them wrong.

I really don’t like the word criticism. It is one of the harshest and most demoralizing words used when people intend to help someone improve.

If you want to be someone’s critic, try being your own. Don’t be your worst critic.

This is one place (of many) where you can truly be your best.

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSPTM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a four-time author and some of his work includes, Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce and Pivot and Accelerate, The Next Move Is Yours! Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+


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Take Giant Leaps

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Someone will ask, “How do I build more confidence?”

Popular wisdom suggests that self-confidence consists of two factors, self-efficacy and self-esteem. Self-efficacy is the idea that you can produce or create a desired outcome. For example, you believe you have the tenacity to achieve a college degree. Self-esteem is your impression of yourself. Typically you are said to have high self-esteem if you have a very favorable impression. The combination of these two factors represents self-confidence.

Apollo 11 from Wikipedia

I encourage people to take small risks (and bigger ones too) because every time we take a risk or take a chance to try something new, different, or challenging we have the opportunity to learn from a failure or success. Small steps, typically regarded as somewhat easier (because they are small), help us build more confidence.

So, taking small steps builds confidence.

When we have built some confidence we have to push for more if we want to continue to grow. So we have to consider bigger steps. We can challenge the smaller steps by taking bigger ones and it may be said that bigger steps require more courage.

So, the confidence to take big steps builds courage.

When we have built our confidence and our courage, we can consider taking not only small steps or big steps, but we may want to pursue giant leaps. Giant leaps have the most risk, the risk of costly mistakes, failure, or even ridicule.

So, the confidence and courage to take giant leaps builds character.

Some people will only remember your mistakes; others will only remember your accomplishments. All of them will remember your character.

Take giant leaps.

– DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a keynote speaker, corporate trainer, and consultant that specializes in helping businesses accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. Reach him through his website at http://DennisEGilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Photo Credit: Apollo 11 on Wikipedia


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