Have you assessed your identity confidence? How do you self-describe? Are you confident about who you are?
A dozen or more years ago there was an unpleasant social trend. The trend was to playfully call people a “loser.” Some people even self-identified, “I’m a loser.”
Perhaps it started around1999, when Smash Mouth released their hit song, All Star.
On the surface, it seemed sort of OK. Surprisingly, it was often considered friendly and sometimes represented by holding your thumb and index finger in the representation of an “L” on your forehead. It was a way of identifying, “loser.”
When you look in the mirror, who do you see?
Everyone has good and bad days. Days when everything seems to click. Days that have magical moments and days that seemed filled with disappointment. In a general sense, this is normal.
What do you tell yourself in those bad moments? Do you hear echoes of “loser?”
In the workplace, people often decide on their ability to be more successful based on the stories that they tell themselves over and over.
The same is true for learning or when tested.
I’m not good at math.
I can’t spell.
I’m not a mechanic.
Will you ever really master the requirements of math competence when you consistently suggest that you aren’t good at it? The same is true for spelling or diagnosing why your car is shuttering and stalls.
If you tell yourself, you are not a people person, you probably won’t get along well with others. When you suggest you are, “just here to get a paycheck,” or “I never wanted to be a supervisor,” then guess what? Not much will change.
Have you passed on opportunities because of the story you tell yourself? Is that story based on reality or might it be a scar from some playful gesture long ago?
Self-deprecation may seem a bit humorous from time to time. In some cases, it may feel like a reality check. At what point do you start believing it?
Belief is a powerful tool, or a nasty weapon.
Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSPTM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.