Tag Archives: personal

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personal boundaries

Navigating Personal Boundaries at Work

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Trampled on again. That is the feeling employees sometimes have after the water cooler encounter or the high anxiety staff meeting. Are you effectively navigating personal boundaries at work?

First, let’s frame the boundaries. Harassment, bullying, or mobbing is another different discussion. This is more of a, “How do I navigate difficult personalities?” or “How do I navigate the organizational culture?” discussion.

Personal Boundaries

There are several golden rules about boundaries. Boundaries are:

  1. an individual experience or perception;
  2. not the same for everyone;
  3. once set, they’ll likely be tested.

Personal boundaries are important for our success, mental health, and physical health. They’re also important for job satisfaction, career growth, and ultimately our pay grade.

People often describe boundary violations by stating that they feel disrespected, taken advantage of, discounted, trampled, used, ignored, overworked, underutilized, or completely overwhelmed.

Many boundaries are broken because someone doesn’t understand the boundary.

Not all resolutions are the same. People often state, “I know I need to set boundaries with my boss.” Yes, perhaps, but how, when, or even if that is the best move can be in question.

Being angry with your boss because he or she gives you grief when you’re chronically 15-minutes late is not the bosses problem, it’s yours.

Feeling underemployed and making waves about it when there are not more advanced opportunities at the organization will not create the opportunities you seek.

Taking Action

Appropriate actions require careful assessment. This is not a one size fits all. You’ll have to give it the reasonability test.

Here are a few questions to get started:

  • What is my role in this situation?
  • Are workplace politics, downsizing, or rapid growth fueling this problem?
  • Is the scenario I’m struggling with part of the organizational culture?
  • Is this problem connected to a personality conflict or just a misunderstanding?
  • If I make a move to set a boundary how will that be perceived?

Assertive professionals often hit obstacles and roadblocks when they want more than what the organization can offer at this time, when there is a significant organizational change, or both.

In other cases, a broken boundary may be a conflict with just one individual.

Some boundaries you can set and appropriately maintain. Others, well, it may mean to escape the problem you’ll need to escape the organization.

Culture is top-down, you likely won’t change it from the bottom or middle.

-DEG

Would employee training or coaching help? Contact me.

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSPTM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+


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personal marketing

Personal Marketing, Are You Marketing or Advertising?

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Your personal brand is important. It is important for the people and teams that you engage with, the committees, the meetings, and especially for demonstrating leadership. Are you doing personal marketing?

Yes, you are. If you arrive and are present, perhaps even if you only arrive, you are marketing.

Advertising, conceptually is more about content and campaign dollars. Marketing is generally accepted as inclusive of advertising and so much more.

Everyone Watches

In the workplace, all eyes are on you. This is especially true if you are a supervisor, manager, or other designated leader. What you do and how you perform is marketing.

In the committee meeting you have a voice. Even if you choose silence, that is part of your personal marketing.

That Facebook or Twitter post, marketing. Instagram, yup, marketing.

When you apply for the new job or the promotion, marketing.

Standing nearby the coffee pot chatting about politics, religion, or the best place to buy shoes. Yes, more marketing.

Believe it or not you have a voice in nearly everything that happens.

The committee bickers and argues. Social media threads go on for days, may ignite anger, and tarnish opportunities for something constructive. All of this is marketing.

One of the challenges is understanding what is being seen or heard. What are the impacts?

Personal Marketing

Every day you have an opportunity to improve your marketing. You can self-monitor, fact-check, and adjust for harmony instead of destruction.

Occasionally, someone will tell me that they hate marketing. Too much work, too much psychology, and too hard to track the results.

A small business may claim, “We don’t do much marketing.” What they probably mean is they don’t spend a lot of money on advertising. Yet, they are always marketing.

The same is true for your personal brand. You’re always marketing. Even when you aren’t spending much money.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSPTM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+


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personal frame

Personal Frame and Where We Belong

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We tend to put everything in a frame. Our favorite pictures, a diploma, and even our capabilities. Others put us in a frame too. What is your personal frame and does it help or does it somehow make you less?

Work Frames

We attend meetings at work. The entire meeting and its associated outcomes are often conditioned by a frame. Some like the frame, some strongly dislike it.

The frame helps give it all structure. It may speed up processing and at the same time it may limit positive change and prolong problem resolution.

The people within the frame, are framed.

After working with others for some time we tend to have a feel for what they’ll say and how they may say it. We have an idea how they’ll interact and where they will stand on a subject.

This too, is both good and bad. There are positive and likely negative consequences.

While you are inclusive in the frame, you also have your own frame. A place they have placed you. Psychologically, they have given you a label. Smart, silly, bossy, quiet, big ego, or even a push over. People believe they know what they’ll get.

The real question then becomes what frame have you placed yourself in?

Personal Frame

Do you believe you belong in the meeting? Are you good enough, too good, or growing into it? Are you more of an observer, just wanting to have a seat at the table to keep a pulse on the action?

You’ve given yourself your own label. It is the place where you fit. As part of the group you know the ebb and flow, you will likely follow it, always.

It may be confidence, or a lack of it. Your personal frame will guide everything that happens next.

Avoid labeling yourself as not good enough, inferior, or not belonging. Chances are good you’ll live up to your own expectations.

-DEG

Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSPTM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Dennis Gilbert on Google+


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