Tag Archives: jokes

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identity confidence

Identity Confidence and Why You Should Have More

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Have you assessed your identity confidence? How do you self-describe? Are you confident about who you are?

A dozen or more years ago there was an unpleasant social trend. The trend was to playfully call people a “loser.” Some people even self-identified, “I’m a loser.”

Perhaps it started around1999, when Smash Mouth released their hit song, All Star.

On the surface, it seemed sort of OK. Surprisingly, it was often considered friendly and sometimes represented by holding your thumb and index finger in the representation of an “L” on your forehead. It was a way of identifying, “loser.”

When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

Believe It?

Everyone has good and bad days. Days when everything seems to click. Days that have magical moments and days that seemed filled with disappointment. In a general sense, this is normal.

What do you tell yourself in those bad moments? Do you hear echoes of “loser?”

In the workplace, people often decide on their ability to be more successful based on the stories that they tell themselves over and over.

The same is true for learning or when tested.

I’m not good at math.

I can’t spell.

I’m not a mechanic.

Will you ever really master the requirements of math competence when you consistently suggest that you aren’t good at it? The same is true for spelling or diagnosing why your car is shuttering and stalls.

Identity Confidence

If you tell yourself, you are not a people person, you probably won’t get along well with others. When you suggest you are, “just here to get a paycheck,” or “I never wanted to be a supervisor,” then guess what? Not much will change.

Have you passed on opportunities because of the story you tell yourself? Is that story based on reality or might it be a scar from some playful gesture long ago?

Self-deprecation may seem a bit humorous from time to time. In some cases, it may feel like a reality check. At what point do you start believing it?

Belief is a powerful tool, or a nasty weapon.


Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSPTM), and culture expert. He is a five-time author and the founder of Appreciative Strategies, LLC. His business focuses on positive human performance improvement solutions through Appreciative Strategies®. Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

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be taken seriously appreciative strategies

Leadership Habit 41: Be Taken Seriously

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Can you joke around on the job? How do people know what is serious and what isn’t? Do you want to be taken seriously?

The subject of being taken seriously might quickly be considered to be connected to respect. It probably is, but perhaps it is also connected to each individual in different ways.

Wired Differently

For example, for the person that is extremely committed and extremely focused, it might be refreshing to catch a break. Lightening up the mood a bit and releasing some tension or stress might be a good thing.

Of course, you also have the extreme opposite. You have those who aren’t really that serious at all. Any behavior to lighten things up opens the door for making a joke out of everything.

Like most things in life, the key is balance.

Be Taken Seriously

As a workplace leader here are a few things to keep in mind:

  • Read each situation. A little fun and a little laughter can certainly ease tension. It can also signal, “Hey, this isn’t that serious.” Each situation likely has unique characteristics, read them carefully.
  • Use humor sparingly. Humor can be tough. What is funny to some might be disrespectful to another. You must be very careful of sensitive areas. In the workplace a joke about a competitor’s product might be fun. A joke about gender, looks, or race—never!
  • Don’t become an entertainer. You’ll never be taken seriously if you’re always trying to make things funny. Work is serious. You’ll have to find the balance. Sometimes you must trade popularity for respect.

Some might consider that any humor is just too risky. Most successful leaders are able to read the situation, show some personality, and execute a successful balance.

A well-managed balance can also build more trusted relationships. Too stiff or too tight might be perceived as fictitious and untrusted.

Do you want to be taken seriously?

You might have to establish respect first.



Dennis E. Gilbert is a business consultant, speaker (CSPTM), and corporate trainer that specializes in helping businesses and individuals accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. He is a four-time author and some of his work includes, Forgotten Respect, Navigating A Multigenerational Workforce and Pivot and Accelerate, The Next Move Is Yours! Reach him through his website at Dennis-Gilbert.com or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

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