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People tend to do what is easy. It takes a lot of energy to be a good listener, so you only listen partially. It takes a lot of energy to break a bad habit and replace it with a good one, so you stay stuck with the bad one. It takes a lot of energy to launch a major shift in your job or career, so you find reasons to stay put, stick with the same, or minimize the risk by doing little or nothing different.


Your critics tell you what went wrong, what should have been different, and are experts at squashing your beliefs. They create scenarios that in your mind are so powerful, you begin to believe what the doubters say and worse, they win again because you start to doubt your own beliefs.

Maybe it is all backwards. Maybe you should use your energy to force change because without it, you’re stuck. Maybe you should start by focusing on the moments when somebody complimented you, thanked you for how you helped, or expressed how much you made a difference. Maybe you should re-live those moments when everything clicked, worked well, and just felt good.

I think maybe, sometimes, people have it backwards.


Dennis E. Gilbert is a keynote speaker, corporate trainer, and consultant that specializes in helping businesses accelerate their leadership, their team, and their success. Reach him through his website at or by calling +1 646.546.5553.

Photo Credit:  Hummingbird – Wikipedia

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